romanse

I injoyd a gurlfren, Mozelle LaRue, but now she moovd to Bozur City.
Mozelle, if you reed my blog, i mis you.
MumFord

owld owld owld monkeys

gess wat? they haved monkeys in ainchint Eegipt. I saw them at the mewzeum in Londin.
MumFord

free booz

the U K has better stocked lownges win you wate for a erplane.

sum funny things about the U K

the stering weel is on the rong side of the car! ha ha ha ha ha AND the cars go on the rong side of the rode!!!!
MumFord
p.s. I'm not wering a skirt; that is a kilt and it is manly.

Scotlin

i luv the Cameron House in Scotlin.

at the Club

mor frens

happy times.

why i luv the South y'all

Party at the Aloft Lounge in Bormingham ALABAMA. Met purdy purdy girls from Missy Sippy. They luved me too.
MumFord

Mor Sock Monkeys

There are mor sock monkeys arownd here lately.

Lessons from Argus

Argus showed us how he can take money owt of wallets win we hav gests staying here. He sed it is like paying arselves for being cute hostesez, but im not sure abowt this. he hasnt give me or Gunter Wilson none of it.
deer Reeders: Shood I tell on him?
MumFord

Argus Emerson is so vane

Just because Argus got a new hat and pants now he thinks he is so grate. Look at him admire hissef in the mirrer.
HA!
So wat.
MumFord

Muthurs Day

we sellabrated muthers day, even Gunter Wilson who has kept back won eester bunny he wont let go of.
MumFord

xceptinse

me and Argus Emerson saw one gurl sock monkey in a stor wif very pretty ies and a green skirt, but she costed atey dollers. We stil talked abowt her a lot. i wish we cood hav bot her to be part of the fambly.

Loo Ow Memrees

see the way they put a flowr in the drink?
i luv it.
MumFord

eskort sirvice

This is how we got arownd Mowee; they toted us. It was cool becawse we cood see everthing and no bratty chilren cood tuch us. ha ha
MumFord

me and Argus Emerson in Mowee

we tryed to kill eech othur at furst, but then we got along ok. Mowee helps you get a good additude. And we drinked a lot of relly good drinks like "hula girls" and "lava flo" and longbored beers.
MumFord

still on bacashun

i hav not rote becawse im in mowee...mor later.
i luv it.
MumFord

win im rich

Dreeming

win im rich
ill onlee fly furst class
sit on a big soft seet
lookin at clowds on a summer day
flite attindints will bring me
boddels of wisky
ice cubes cleer
and a thik wite bole of hot nuts.

MumFord

THER BACK!

Gunter Wilson anb Argus Emerson come back this morning. Gunter Wilson came in the howse, then he threw up siggeret butts on the rug. Now they are asleep; i dont no wher thev bin.
MumFord

diskeridged

im wurreed abowt Gunter Wilson. He left with Argus Emerson and they bin gone all day. I cant deside wether to stay and wate for them or to go hunt for them. Argus Emerson can take care of hisself, but Gunter Wilson onlee has one good ie and he dont no anything. It is hard having a speshul needs dawg!

even a sock monkey can make koffy

i no how to make koffy. Eezy. You just put in a thing in the top and pullit down and then push a button. It gowes, RRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNT. An then, you drink the koffy.
All so, it tasts good to add sum jack danyuls into the cup.
Luv,MumFord

bahind the seens

I got to go to wedding things. Now I know beyuwty secrits, too. Girls wer SPANX under ther gowns and a lot of maekup on ther ies and lips. I love weddings and parties speshilly at the bar later. All so girls wer blush on ther cheeks.
I got to go and Argus Emerson DIDNT. HA HA.
mumFord

WARNING: DONT TRUST HIM

This is Argus Emerson, a sock monkey from a anteek stor who lives wif us now for amonth. HE IS A LYER. He clames that he can do allot of things but he cant. DONT TRUST HIM NO MATTER WAT.
MumFord

Anuther Yer

i selibrated in Sin Fransico. Happy Noo Yer!

xpereensing winnertime

me, Gunter Wilson, Argus Emerson, and Mojo sat on the deck to xpereense the snow.
MumFord

Snow Day

i luv it.
MumFord

recording artis

i hav made a hole album of instermental songs by mysef on a fun keebored. My album is called Look Into My Ies. I rote, performed, and recorded all my musik on a cussete tape player in won nite.
Luv, MumFord

pritty lites

i put my hollyday lites on the roof. i luv it.
MumFord

best in show

see that arn dawg? i luv it.
MumFord

wery

Comunidy Servis
by MumFord

im sick an tired
of pickin up butts
cans, nesle crunch rapers,
black peels of bananas
sobe bodels,
big red

im sick an tired
of wachin traffic pas
an peeple laf
at me an Gunter Wilson
Werin oringe vests

it ranes on my hed
the sun meltin my ies
my tale droops
wile flies buz under my smile
tired as heels
walkin forever

wen oh wen
wil the wisel blow
for us to stop
workin comunidy servis?
wen is anuf punishmint?

crime dont pay
it sucks

Peece owt.

sweet water

You can pretty much stay corned tooring arownd Kintuckee and Tinnysee.

Greeks of Tinnysee

saw the Parthinon in nAshvill. it is jus like the won in Grese, onlee it is finnishd an has grass arownd it.

Sines

close enuf! i luv it.
MumFord

repeet ofenders

we woodhav made it out the stor if SUMBODY hadnt dropped his STOOPID RAYZINS!
MumFord

Uhdopshun

now i tak keer of Gunter Wilson. hez not rite an onlee has won good ie. he cant even reed. im teeching him abowt everthing.
luv, MumFord

dresing smart

i wor a tux to a party but cant put pitchurs on my blog of it dew to sinsorship.
luv, MumFord

Speshul Skils

i am a xsillent danser for all kines of muzik, even western at verginya city.
Luv, MumFord

rimimberin winnertime

shit it was cold.

safety

awways wer a safety belt strap win riddin in the car, speshly wif a fast driver.
luv, MumFord

Heetwave Tips

a good place to hang out on reel hot days is the safrigerator, but dont sit on any jello.
MumFord

buddees on the rode

i met too drinkin buddees in virmot. forgot ther names but we had a fartin contest. then they showd me how they can do jungul skreems. it was halarius.
luv, MumFord

at the erport

see that jiant beer sine? i luv it.
Wi dont the hole world hav jiant sines for EVERTHING? it wood be so much eezier to find wat you want.
MumFord

on the rode

i bet you cant gess wat kine of stor this was.
i luv it.
MumFord

virmot

i luv burger barns

Ubsesshuns

win you find sumthing you luv a lot iznt it grate to wach it all day?
i luv it.
MumFord

expreshun in rap

The Mumf Projeck

Yo Yo
Why you be trippin out
the red heel what its abowt
got me a crib in the mowntins
in the summer deck a fowntin
got booze in the celler
unlimited plezure
don't mess wi me
cause I can choke you out
with yarn, no joke
im a bad mutha
you don wanna provoke
yo yo im da MumFord.

Check it out.

Da Mumford.

Dats right.

Da Mumford.

Peece OUt.

Ther Will Be Blood Country

i saw the dezert but no cowboys.

Partys wiv Theems

i luv theem partys, espeshly wen i can be close to the deejay.
MumFord

more mowee

you know how wen you go on vacashun and enjoy the sunrise with coffy in bed?
i luv that.
MumFord

Mixed Relashunships

me and Dundee hav lived at the same howse for five yers, but i still feel nervus abowt bein alone with him. Dawgs have bin nown to teer sock monkeys apart! i try to be freenly and tollerent,k but KAWSHUS!